I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
