Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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