Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize