Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
