Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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