white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize