piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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