me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
