I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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