i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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