well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
