there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
