I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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