they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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