if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Who died my cat blue again?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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