I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
