at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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