I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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