What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
