I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I understand Curling. That high.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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