i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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