I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
