glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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