Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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