Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize