I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
