I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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