Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
