I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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