I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
