I wanna bring you to show and tell
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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