Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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