So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Enjoy the penises
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
