i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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