Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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