1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
