haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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