no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
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