You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
