Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
