Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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