I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
