Porn is love you can see.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm like, not good at living.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
