Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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