Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
