If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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