Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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