at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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