i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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