how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
