So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
