Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
