You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
