cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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