My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
