I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
