No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
