this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
