the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
