OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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