everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
