He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dignity is for republicans.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
