I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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