I could have mohawked her pubes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
