I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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