You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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